


to find my soul

by hawkguyed



Series: into the forest we go [1]
Category: James Bond (Craig movies), Star Trek: Discovery
Genre: Alternate Universe, M/M, no-one really dies, the star trek discovery au
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-01-22
Updated: 2018-01-22
Packaged: 2019-03-08 08:23:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 497
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13454277
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hawkguyed/pseuds/hawkguyed
Summary: Death is an inevitable fact of life. Until it isn't, and the world is suddenly not big enough.(Or how losing someone makes you do things you've never considered doing).





	to find my soul

**Author's Note:**

> This spawned from a midnight idea that wouldn't go away. Don't worry, no-one's really dead, and death is not always final. 
> 
> Title comes from the second half of a Star Trek Discovery episode, also a John Muir quote: Into the forest we go, to lose mu mind and find my soul.

The knife protrudes from his chest, a grotesque parody of the medal pinned to Bond's uniform. There is silence for a moment, broken only by the gurgle of blood filling the blond's mouth and the snarl of a Number One enraged by the sight before him.  
  
Killing your captain is one thing, but backstabbing him from behind is considered a sin far worse than death. Silva had all but etched his own fate into stone, even as Captain James Bond collapses to the ground, the last vestiges of life seeping out with a quiet murmur.  
  
The crew shift uneasily, and his world dissolves.  
  
Q doesn't recall moving. He doesn't even know where he had gotten the knife from, doesn't remember slitting Silva's throat with a brutality he had never knew he possessed until the red haze clears and the crew is clapping and raising their hands in salute.  
  
He was supposed to be an engineer. He was supposed to only be studying astromycology.  
  
Now he is a newly minted Captain, freshly decorated with the blood of his lover's killer on his pale hands and the bodies of two men at his feet.  


* * *

  
Death is an inevitable fact of life, Q muses as he gently closes  James' dull, lifeless eyes. Silva has been disposed off, tossed out of an airlock like a discarded rag doll, but for all the harshness of their godforsaken universe, Q still harbours a fond thread for the blond man who had somehow chipped away at the walls around his heart.  
  
The bloodied uniform is gone, and the man he had loved - still loves, says his aching heart - is now dressed in his military best, the way he had been when Q first snapped at him for humming a godawful aria while sauntering down the hallways of the Palace.  
  
James had always been so full of life, even in the desolate wasteland that was their home. The blond was fire incarnate, passionate and savage and brutal, yet Q shudders as he remembers the gentleness of James' touch as the man kissed him, in the darkness of the Captain's Ready Room.  
  
He's gone, now.  
  
Q can't cry. There is no time for weakness, no time to grieve.  
  
Instead, he sombrely shuts the lid of the cryogenic unit that the late Captain lies in, resting his cheek on the cold metal for a moment. I'm sorry, he thinks. This won't be the end, he promises, and then Q sweeps out of the room, burying all his sorrow, his pain, and the red hot ember of revenge at the bottom of his heart.  


* * *

  
  
_Log 283, Chief Medical Officer William Tanner of the USS Altiliq. USS Kvartal goes down with all hands, save for an escape pod that was later recovered with a single survivor._  
  
_First Officer Benjamin Quentin Andrews was found alive, but demonstrates signs of post traumatic stress disorder and severe memory loss. Further observation is recommended, pending any future posting on a Federation ship._  


END?  



End file.
